The Orange County resident attended high school in Torrance and later played violin with the Long Beach Symphony.
As the months slip by, there are fewer and fewer World War II veterans and even fewer Pearl Harbor survivors. But no matter the future, this nation must never forget men such as Howard Bender.
Bender, who died a few days ago at age 96, was one of the few remaining Pearl Harbor survivors and his courage in the face of that hopeless battle is nearly unfathomable.
He was aboard the USS Maryland when the enemy attacked the immense Naval base, sinking four battleships, damaging or destroying hundreds of planes and 20 ships, wounding 1,282 Americans in uniform and taking 2,402 souls.
While mighty ships such as the USS Arizona slipped beneath an oily ocean, Bender risked his life saving fellow sailors drowning in a sea of fire.
Yet men like Bender, who grew up in Torrance and later lived in Orange County, neither broke nor bowed.
Before the war was over, Bender went on to serve in such storied places as the Solomon Islands, Bougainville, Guadalcanal — places where valor, honor and patriotism were won with blood.
Just last December, I had the opportunity to sit down with Bender at his home in Irvine and he shared the kind of wisdom learned only by those who serve in uniform.
“As people live these wars,” Bender explained, “we must make peace with ourselves why we do it.”
Wearing his veterans cap adorned with miniature medals reflecting the very real ones he earned, the Pearl Harbor survivor continued, “War is the most useless thing you can do — when there are other alternatives.”
Born in Waterloo, Iowa, Bender and his younger brother grew up in Torrance after their parents, Hazel and Lillian — a popular name for boys in the late 1800s — headed west.
Immediately after graduating Torrance High, Bender enlisted in the Navy and found himself in the midst of one of the worst defeats America ever suffered.
But instead of becoming a victim of the horrors of war, after World War II Bender thrived.
Still enlisted, he married Geneva Largent, a woman he called “the love of my life.”
His new wife, however, suggested a more genteel life and Bender agreed to conclude his military career in 1946.
The couple raised two daughters. Mom worked for the Los Alamitos school district; dad worked as a chiropractor as well as a food broker representing Sara Lee and Green Giant.
Yet Bender had a creative side and was smart enough to nurture it by mastering the violin and eventually becoming a member of the Long Beach Symphony.
But the legacy of war never left.
When he saw someone he recognized as a veteran, he always offered a “Thank you” or “Welcome home.”
A Shriner and member of the American Legion, Bender joined the Freedom Committee of Orange County after retiring and taught the realities of war to school children as well as to adults.
“Eternal vigilance is our cost for eternal freedom,” the Pearl Harbor survivor told me in December. “Trying to put people under domination doesn’t work.
“It only takes one small person to rise up and say, ‘Enough is enough.’”
Still, Bender believed in moving forward. Of past grudges, he advised, “Let it go.”
On that note, Bender also volunteered teaching children how to play the violin.
Bender is survived by his wife, their daughters Caryn Bender and Carol Lamp as well as Lamp’s husband, Michael, their children, Anne Marie and her husband, Peter Galullo and their daughters, Natalie and Emily; Bobby and Ani Lamp and their daughters, Ruth and Victoria; Colleen Lamp and her son, Miles; and son, Matthew Lamp; also Caryn Bender’s daughter, Cheryl, and her husband, Joseph Cericola and their sons, Dante, Marco and Luca.
A memorial service is planned for later this year.
