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Australia is now King Idiot of the internet

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A middle-power nation thinking it can tell US-based multinationals which parts of mathematics they can and cannot use — we deserve to be sent to time out.
For a western democracy, Australia has certainly punched above its weight when it comes to trying to implement absolutely stupid ideas.
In the midst of a mandatory internet filter debate in 2012, Australia was placed on the Enemies of the Internet watch list, and deservedly so.
And last week, the Prime Minister of Australia Malcolm Turnbull told ZDNet that the laws produced in Canberra are able to trump the laws of mathematics .
„The laws of Australia prevail in Australia, I can assure you of that, “ he said on Friday. „The laws of mathematics are very commendable, but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia.“
Australia has made the running for the Five Eyes nations — the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand — on the topic of encryption and the problems it poses for law enforcement.
At the heart of Australia’s push is the idea that there needs to be an online equivalent of a lawful phone tap, and the uptake of end-to-end encrypted messaging systems is making it hard for law enforcement. It’s not an unreasonable argument that there are a small number of people that need to be monitored by law enforcement, it has always been so, but the nation’s leaders have been completely vague and circumspect in detailing what it is that they want, and how the authorities go about it.
Take an excerpt from an interview with Turnbull on July 5.
In the days since, the imprecision has continued, with Turnbull stating the following in a speech in London:
By the time Friday morning arrived, Australia’s Attorney-General George Brandis — who is not known for his technical acumen, particularly after a Walkley Award-winning interview where he struggled to explain what metadata was — said he has been informed by the UK’s Government Communications Headquarters intelligence agency that it was possible to break into encrypted messages, and to do so in real-time.
Taken together, it appears the Australian government is proposing one of the following: That providers of encrypted messaging services create a backdoor for themselves to allow decryption to occur whenever the cops or spies demand it, or the service providers are forced to man-in-the-middle their own protocols; as for handset makers, they have been warned they will need to co-operate with law enforcement and may entail having to push compromised operating systems or messaging applications onto suspects, or inform the government when they are notified of a 0-day bug, and give the government time to compromise their targets; or all of the above.
The core issue is that all these schemes boil down to putting a genie back in the bottle, and to mix analogies, not only has the encrypted messaging horse bolted, but it is three paddocks over and never coming back to the stable.
Australia has decided it is the jurisdiction that will jump into a legal quagmire with both feet, and it is a brave call for a nation that is nowhere near being called a superpower and has little leverage on the predominately US-based corporations it wishes to bring to heel.
If Apple was willing to stand up to the US Justice Department and the FBI in 2016, what makes the brains trust in Canberra think it hasn’t just signed up to years and years of legal wrangling?
Australia is a rounding error on Apple’s financials, and if Cupertino wanted to make an example of the country, it could pull up stumps and force Australians to import its devices themselves — and probably increase its market share in the process.
Were roles reversed and it was the United States pushing for the nebulous changes Australia is after, perhaps something would be done to satisfy the wants of lawmakers.
Australian culture has a particularly awful „love it or leave it“ saying, and in the instance of Canberra trying to dictate to multinationals how their products should work, and what features they have, or demanding a new compromised update system, the „leave it“ option could always be used.
It would be no less than we deserve for allowing our leaders to prosecute ridiculous claims in the past, and letting them get away with it.
The state of the metadata retention scheme is a good example of this, where it was eventually settled that access would be reduced to 21 agencies, yet the department responsible for overseeing the scheme was advising agencies without access to use other means of gaining the data if they could.
In the recent debate surrounding the collection of GST by online vendors such as eBay and Alibaba, the Australian Taxation Office said it was leaving the prospect of blocking auction sites that did not collect the tax on the table, while eBay said it might end up blocking Australians first.
Australian leadership is caught between the lofty goals of a AU$1.1 billion innovation agenda and potentially a new space agency, and always managing to have a knee-jerk and Luddite reaction to anything new online.
In a world where Canberra is successful and wins every argument it makes, will our Prime Minister be happy when Moscow or Beijing have their own warrants demanding Apple and Google use the their Australian-inspired processes to compromise a device?
At the present time, it might be best if we were sent to our room with no dinner to think about what we did and intend to do. Because if Australia is successful, the internet will be a less safe place for everyone, not just the „bad guys“ the government wishes to track.
Please ignore us, hopefully it is a phase that we will grow out of.
The Monday Morning Opener is our opening salvo for the week in tech. Since we run a global site, this editorial publishes on Monday at 8: 00am AEST in Sydney, Australia, which is 6: 00pm Eastern Time on Sunday in the US.

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