Self-segregation contributes to our widening and ever-more hostile political chasm, breeds fear and suspicion and makes compromise all but impossible.<\/b>
\nCocoons may be comfortable, but they aren’t conducive to bringing people together.
Yet it’s more common now for Americans to surround themselves exclusively with others who mirror their political and social beliefs. A Georgetown University survey found a majority of the country \u2014 60% \u2014 say most of their friends think the same way as they do about politics, and share the same religion, ethnicity and economic class.
In a diverse and divided country, we are sticking close to our own.
That self-segregation is not healthy for our democracy. It contributes to our widening and ever-more hostile political chasm, breeds fear and suspicion and makes consensus and compromise all but impossible.
Engagement is the only way to bridge the gap.
If you make one New Year’s resolution today, let it be to build meaningful personal relationships across the Great Divide.
It’s not an easy ask. Engagement can be risky. Conversations between people who are passionate in their positions can get ugly in a hurry.
At the Great Lakes Civility Project, an initiative started by me and Stephen Henderson, we’re trying to convince the combatants in today’s political and cultural wars they can do what we’ve done \u2014 maintain a deep friendship despite fiercely disagreeing on almost everything.
It starts with dropping the assumption that those who hold different views must be stupid or evil. Our operating premise is that all good people come to their opinions in the same way, by running ideas and information through the filter of their life experiences and personal values.
Taking the time to learn how those experiences and values shape a person’s political identity is essential to civil engagement.
The idea came to us, as have many of our most significant epiphanies, over bourbon. Steve and I were on Mackinac Island several years ago to cover a Republican gathering, an environment in which I was somewhat more comfortable than was Steve.
After the day’s session, we stopped by an island bar to unwind. After awhile, I pushed back from the bar to take a break. As I walked away, two conference attendees, both very conservative women, pounced on me.
„That’s Steve Henderson you’re with!“ they shouted. „How can you be friends with him? He’s so awful! We just hate him!“
Their vehemence stunned me, and I asked: „You hate him? Do you know him?“
They said they didn’t, so I invited them to take my stool at the bar and chat with Steve for a bit. They were as hesitant as if I’d asked them to snuggle up to a rattlesnake, but they agreed. More than an hour later, I came back to rescue Steve. As we walked away, I asked the women how it went.
„He’s wonderful,“ they exclaimed. „We just love him!“
Nothing had changed in that hour about either their political views or Steve’s. They just made the effort to set aside their assumptions and talk.
That’s a good first step toward a more civil new year. Don’t assume you hate people simply because their political views don’t align with yours. Replacing assumptions with conversation can change everything.
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