How does “Rampage” smell among the films that The Rock has been cooking?
Dwayne Johnson is one of the last great movie stars. As a wrestler, he built a career on physical prowess and dynamic charisma, and those qualities translated neatly into a successful acting career. Whether he’s kicking butt, tickling funny bones or (frequently) both, The Rock has the uncanny ability to make almost every movie better just by showing up for work. Here’s a look at his impressively prolific career.
(Note: The following films are ranked based on their quality and on their Dwayne Johnson-ness. Films in which he only has a minor role will mostly rank low, and films in which he has little more than a cameo will receive unranked honorable mentions — and even then only if they are noteworthy.)
Universal Pictures
Honorable Mention: “The Mummy Returns” (2001)
It’s hard to judge “The Mummy Returns” as a “Dwayne Johnson movie”: The wrestler-turned-actor is in the film for a very short prologue, and then he comes back at the end as a CGI scorpion monster. But it’s Johnson’s first major role in a movie, so it deserves a shout-out for that reason and (since the movie is so hyperactively shrill it’s kind of hard to watch) for that reason alone.
Columbia Pictures
Honorable Mention: “The Other Guys” (2010)
Johnson has done more than one cop comedy where his cameo amounts to little more than a joke (see also: “Reno 911!: Miami”), but his appearance in Adam McKay’s smart and subversive “The Other Guys” is a particular treat. Johnson appears as the heroic action movie ideal of law enforcement, opposite Samuel L. Jackson, only to die unexpectedly, forcing “the other guys” — Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg — to take center stage instead. It’s a small part, but Johnson owns it, and the rest of the movie is funny as heck too.
Summit Entertainment
26. “Snitch” (2013)
Johnson has made several embarrassing movies (we’ll get to them in a minute), but he’s never made a movie more boring than “Snitch.” He plays a dad whose son gets busted for drugs, and the only way to get the kid out of prison is to rat out a bigger drug dealer. So Johnson goes undercover to find one. The idea is pulpy and interesting, but the movie is turgid and lifeless, only notable for a strong supporting turn by Jon Bernthal.
Universal Pictures
25. “Doom” (2005)
This may not be the worst video game movie, but that says a heck of a lot more about the other video game movies than it does about “Doom.” Johnson and Karl Urban star as Space Marines on a mission to Mars, where monsters are killing people. Andrzej Bartkowiak’s film is so dimly lit it’s hard to tell what’s going on, and when you do figure out what’s going on, you realize it’s really quite dumb. The final fight between Johnson and Urban is kind of nifty, but it’s not worth watching the rest of this terrible movie to get to it.
Universal Pictures
24. “Southland Tales” (2006)
Richard E. Kelly’s ambitious follow-up to “Donnie Darko” has an impressive cast and a lot of big ideas, but the cast is wasted, and the big ideas are the kind you’d only come up with when you’re wasted. Johnson stars as a conservative movie star who gets caught in a sprawling sci-fi conspiracy, but the film isn’t funny, it’s not insightful, and even the craziest moments don’t feel crazy enough. If you ever wonder what it would look like if Neil Breen remade “Wild Palms,” well, you have very specific tastes, but this is the movie for you. And probably only you.
Paramount Pictures
23. “Baywatch” (2017)
Johnson takes over the David Hasselhoff role in “Baywatch,” a comedy adaptation of a TV series that probably didn’t know it was funny. That’s not a bad idea, and Johnson occasionally makes the most of it, but the film’s grotesque sense of humor and lazy stereotyping undermines any attempt it makes at cleverness. Believe or not, “Baywatch” deserved better.
The Film Arcade
22. “Empire State” (2013)
The true story of the biggest cash heist in American history isn’t nearly as interesting as you might think. In this competent but unremarkable drama, Liam Hemsworth and Michael Angarano pull off the crime, while Johnson takes a thankless supporting role as the cop hunting them down, who has no personality traits to speak of. There’s a reason most people don’t know this movie exists. It’s for Dwayne Johnson die-hards only.
TriStar Pictures
21. “Planet 51” (2009)
An alien lands in an idyllic 1950s suburb, but the twist is, the “alien” is a human being, and the townsfolk overtaken by paranoia are green-skinned creatures from another planet. Johnson stars as the human astronaut, and he seems to be having a good time, but this harmless, humdrum animated comedy never demonstrates any imagination beyond its premise, and there’s nary a laugh to be found.
Warner Bros. Entertainment
20. “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” (2012)
This forgettable sequel to the forgettable “Journey to the Center of the Earth” stars Johnson as a stepdad who takes his kids on an incredible adventure to a CGI-island full of giant birds that poop on Luis Guzmán while he’s riding a giant bee. Everyone seems to have only shown up to collect their paycheck, but “Journey 2” does have one of Johnson’s most iconic on-screen moments: “The Pec-Pop of Love,” in which he bounces a berry off of his chest and into the audience, utilizing the full power of 3-D.
Warner Bros.
19. “Get Smart” (2008)
In this generic movie reboot of one of the funniest TV shows of all time, Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway take center stage, Alan Arkin gets most of the best lines, and Johnson gets trapped as the fourth lead, sitting out most of the second act. Everyone’s reasonably charming in “Get Smart,” but the film only has a handful of laugh-out-loud jokes, and Johnson isn’t used very well (when he’s used at all).
Disney
18. “Race to Witch Mountain” (2009)
This remake of the Disney classic “Escape to Witch Mountain” stars Johnson as a cab driver who gets pulled into a sci-fi adventure and escorts two alien children back to their U. F. O. at a secret government base. It sounds like a good idea, but the film is so perfunctory in its storytelling that Johnson’s character quickly gets taken for granted. He has no reason to be in most of this movie, and almost no reason to care about what happens in it. So the audience has no reason to care either, even though objectively it’s kinda nifty.
MGM/UA
17. “Be Cool” (2005)
The long-awaited sequel to “Get Shorty” was not, sadly, worth the wait. Chili Palmer (John Travolta) goes into the music industry, and criminal shenanigans ensue. It’s an overstuffed comedy, with too many characters who have too little to do, but Johnson steals every scene he’s in as a lovable gay musician and actor who makes ends meet as a hired goon. It’s a mess, but Johnson almost ( almost) makes it work.
MGM
16. “Walking Tall” (2004)
Another remake of a 1970s genre film, “Walking Tall” stars Johnson as a soldier returning home to his small town, only to discover that criminal corruption runs rampant. So he runs for Sheriff and becomes corrupt himself, but he’s only corrupt in order to stop the BAD corruption, so it’s… OK? Maybe? The politics are questionable (at best), but as a lo-fi vigilante thriller, it’s reasonably entertaining, and Johnson makes a fine lead.
Walt Disney Pictures
15. “The Game Plan” (2007)
Johnson plays a selfish football player who finds out he has a daughter, and that he has to take care of her all by himself, in this harmless, middle-of-the-road family comedy. Johnson eventually learns a valuable lesson about parenting, obviously, and of course he winds up wearing a tutu because, for a few years there, filmmakers thought putting him in a tutu was the funniest thing ever. Fortunately, Johnson and his young co-star Madison Pettis are very likable together and make this very familiar formula work about as well as anyone could hope.
CBS Films
14. “Faster” (2010)
George Tillman Jr.’s crime thriller stars Johnson as a getaway driver on a mission of brutal revenge, and sure enough, he’s threatening enough to pull off the role. “Faster” is inventive and violent but ultimately too grim for its own good. However, it’s worth sitting through the dour parts to see this film’s impressive supporting cast — including Billy Bob Thornton, Moon Bloodgood, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Carla Gugino and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje — play some extremely pulpy characters.
Warner Bros.
13. “San Andreas” (2015)
The “Big One” finally hits California, and only Johnson can save the day. Well, kind of. Johnson plays a rescue helicopter pilot who abandons his job and steals a chopper to save his own small family, presumably at the cost of many, many others. That’s not to say his motivation isn’t understandable, but it’s just one of many things in this movie that fall apart under the mildest scrutiny. Even so, “San Andreas” clearly wasn’t made to tell a brilliant story, and as a cheesy spectacle, it gets the job reasonably well done.
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
12. “Tooth Fairy” (2010)
Of the two movies that put Johnson in a tutu, “Tooth Fairy” is easily the better one. It’s a preposterous fantasy in which Johnson tells a little kid that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real and then gets sentenced by actual tooth fairies to do their job.
