The 81st Golden Globe awards failed to justify its existence regardless of a few overdue historic wins
In case you didn’t watch the 81st Golden Globe Awards, which was the right call, you may be wondering why its host Jo Koy isn’t featured in the photograph above these words.
If you did watch Sunday’s CBS telecast, you already know the answer. Koy bombed spectacularly.
Hey, it happens. But it’s the why of it that’s especially damning. Previous Globes hosting fails have been chalked up to the ringmaster being moody and evil, a la Ricky Gervais, or occasionally funny but overwhelmingly caustic — still talking about Ricky Gervais – or bland but acceptable. Like Jimmy Fallon, who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association hired in 2017 to cleanse the foul aftertaste Gervais’ 2016 performance left behind. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler struck a perfect balance between edge and affection, making them a favorite duo, although Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh, the first Asian performer to host the Globes, earned positive marks.
Koy accepted the job on short notice after many more famous comedians declined to take the gig. Perhaps those sending their regrets or “hell nos” viewed the Globes gig as pointless, like sowing seeds on salted Earth, after Jerrod Carmichael walked onstage last year and read the HFPA for filth for hiring him because he’s Black.
A year later, the HFPA as we once knew it is no more, transformed into a for-profit enterprise owned by private equity firm Eldridge Industries. This telecast is the first to be produced by Dick Clark Productions and Eldridge, a major investor in A24, the independent film company that produced the Globe-winning limited series “Beef.”
Dick Clark Productions is owned by Penske Media Corporation, which also owns every major Hollywood trade publication, but any ethical misgivings one might have had about this isn’t even in the back seat – it’s languishing at a rest stop many miles back. Regardless, this is only worth bringing up to say many, many journalists have written about the lack of necessity of awards show hosts in years where a worthy one can’t be found.
Koy reminded us of that as alleged joke after absent punchline failed to land. The room didn’t turn on him, which would have been delightful, so much as it joined all of us watching at home in wishing he’d go away.
“I got the gig 10 days ago! You want a perfect monologue? Yo, shut up. You’re kidding me, right?” he said as the groans rolled forth. “Slow down. I wrote some of these, and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.”
What, like this one about two best movie Globe contenders? “‘Oppenheimer’ is based on the 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project,” Koy said, “and ‘Barbie’ is about a plastic doll with big boobies.”
Beavis. Beavis. He said boobies, Beavis.
The room didn’t turn on Jo Koy so much as it joined all of us watching at home in wishing he’d go away.
A joke’s provenance doesn’t matter when the deliverer can’t sell it, and a better comedian would have refused to say these words and instead gone rogue.
