Yes, it’s cold here in South Korea and the wind chill is bone-chilling nasty. But I’ve faced worse in Michigan.
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — I’m sorry. I don’t want to wreck a dominant story line here at the Winter Olympics.
Because stories and narratives mean everything at the Olympic Games.
But I don’t think it’s that cold.
And I’m pretty much a wussie when it comes to cold weather.
Sure, it’s way colder than it was at the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia.
But those were the Sweatshirt Games.
This is a real, honest-to-goodness Winter Olympics.
So yes, it’s cold here in South Korea and the wind chill is bone-chilling nasty. That has been well documented.
But I’ve faced way worse.
Trust me, you have faced far worse, if you live in Michigan.
Clearly, these people would never be able to survive where we come from.
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As a kid, I remember going skiing Up North — back before Under Armour base layers and Gortex and heat reflecting coats — and it’s not that cold.
For most of my life, I have gone deer hunting in West Branch. I remember sitting on a stump before dawn, and it felt like the inside of your nose was freezing with each breath, and it’s not that cold.
As a kid, I remember wrapping my feet with plastic bags and then putting them in my boots to try to keep the heat in, before going sledding, and then coming home and my mittens were actually frozen in the shape of a hand.
It’s not that cold.
I have shoveled the driveway, in a blizzard, and it felt like my eye balls were going to freeze. Literally freeze in place.
And it’s not that cold.
I have walked outside in the Upper Peninsula and it felt like somebody punched me in the chest with a blast of cold air.
And it’s not that cold.
I have lived in Michigan for all but two years of my life when I covered the Minnesota Vikings for the St. Paul Pioneer Press. Now, that was cold. Minnesota is a different level of frozen. I remember going to my car and it was so cold and brittle I thought the steering wheel was going to disintegrate in my hands.
It’s not that cold.
Shoot, I remember people having to keep their cars plugged in, just so they would start in the morning.
And it’s not that cold.
I have covered the Detroit Lions at Lambeau Field. And it’s not that cold.
I have gone to a high school football game in a freezing rainstorm — to me, nothing is worse than 33 degrees and raining — and I had to get up and walk around, just so that I could get the feeling back in my toes.
It’s not that cold.
Now, to some, this is a shock. For those who are from warmer climates, I’m sure this is freakin’ cold.
Everything is relative. I was absolutely frozen covering Michigan in the Outback Bowl on a cold day in Florida. I wasn’t dressed for it. I remember going down to the bowels of the stadium and shivering.
But I don’t care if it’s minus-20 or 32 with a horrible wind chill — half the battle is what you wear.
I came here with the biggest, puffiest down coat you have ever seen — I figure, what the heck, it’s a tax write off, right? Then, I am wearing a down vest underneath. I look like a Michelin Man walking around. You could punch me in the gut and I wouldn’t feel it.
I have down-filled gloves and I have incredible fleece tops and a four-layer hat and jeans lined with something warm and fuzzy, and I have wool socks so thick I can barely bend my ankles.
But I’m warm and toasty here at the Winter Olympics.
Compared to the days of plastic bags in your boots, this is nothing.
Free Press columnist Jeff Seidel is covering the 2018 Winter Olympics as part of the USA Today Network. Contact him at jseidel@freepress.com. Follow him on Twitter @seideljeff. To read his recent columns, go to freep.com/sports/jeff-seidel .
