From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random games back into the light. This week, a seasonal game that teaches the world it is better to give tha
From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett (opens in new tab) wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random games back into the light. This week, a seasonal game that teaches the world it is better to give than to receive. At least when you’re talking about fatal injuries.
I’ve never actually seen Die Hard. Sorry. I saw the third on a plane once, though I don’t remember much of the plot, except for a bit where Bruce Willis wears a plaque declaring his dislike of everybody and that guy who rather impolitely declared that he already had a surplus of serpents aboard his Monday to Friday plane was unimpressed.
I’m assuming Die Hard is good, because it has Alan Rickman in it and it’s not Alice in Wonderland. Beyond that, I only know three things. First, it’s an educational tale about the importance of shoes. Second, it is directly responsible for Hudson Hawk. Third, it’s about Bruce Willis killing thieves in a tower, and not in fact a tragic tale of a Welshman expiring in the wake of a massive Viagra overdose.
Oh, and for some reason it’s become as synonymous with Christmas as The Snowman, Scrooge, and the disappointment of missing batteries. In fact, it was on the other day. Too bad I was busy playing the video game instead of watching it.
Even though it’s not exactly a Christmas game, unless your idea of seasonal generosity is „Bullets for everyone,“ Die Hard is one of the few that are memorable. There are a few more directly associated, like Spud, an adventure in which you play Santa’s grandson, and a few holiday releases like Jazz Jackrabbit: Holiday Hare (opens in new tab), but they’re mostly forgotten.
Is my… is my speech popping out of my box again? Oh, how embarrassing.
Oddly, that also appears to have been the fate of this game from 1989. Is it good? In a word: no. In seven words: no, nope, nah, haha, nein, uh-uh, cusinart. It is however surprisingly advanced for its time; a real-time 3D action adventure that was clearly built from the ground up to replicate the movie as much as possible, give or take not being able to license Bruce Willis‘ face for the title screen.
Compare that to the game that NES owners got, two years later…
Suddenly, the problems with the PC version of Die Hard seem a lot more forgivable. And it’s very true to its goal, not least because it is hard, and you will die. You will die a lot, and not by the sword.
