Stellar Blade has a rip-roaring opening and strong ending, but a padded middle that’s benefited by largely satisfying combat.
As I sat down to write this review, I saw that Stellar Blade developer Shift Up had officially announced that the game would be “uncensored” in all regions. Predictably, there was much rejoicing from folks who had been drawn to Stellar Blade protagonist EVE’s shiny buttocks like moths to a flame. To be honest, I can’t blame them; she’s a shockingly attractive virtual person, a trait she shares with pretty much the entire cast of the game, who are all either incredibly hot, badass cyborgs, weird fleshy monsters, or a particularly delectable combination of two or even all three elements. However, as someone who had finished the game earlier that afternoon, I couldn’t help but laugh my sadly unshiny butt off.
While Stellar Blade does feature tight and sometimes revealing clothing, and its protagonist EVE boobing breastily all over the shop, it’s as safe and sexless as the latest entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yes, the fan art and fanfic will be fantastic, but there’s no fan service on display here. I’m actually kinda glad, because now that we’ve got all that junk behind us, we can get to the review and say that Stellar Blade is mostly a darn good time.
Stellar Blade is a flashy character-action game like your Devil May Crys and Ninja Gaidens. There’s a bit of Soulslike in there, but only to the same extent as pretty much every action game these days. Yeah, it’s got checkpoints, respawning enemies, and parrying, but that’s not enough for a whole genre, y’know? The game Stellar Blade is highly reminiscent of, and not just because it’ll launch a thousand cosplays, is Nier: Automata: You’ve got a beautiful balletic blade-wielding badass of a cyborgy-androidy persuasion who descends from space to rid a post-apocalyptic wasteland of rampaging nasties so that all the nice humans can be safe. Oh, and she’s accompanied by a hauntingly lovely soundtrack full of soft, ethereal vocals.
It’s not just the surface elements that Stellar Blade cribs from Nier, but also a willingness to play around with genre in order to keep things fresh. For example, not too far into the game, EVE’s little drone gets an upgrade that allows it to serve as a firearm. For the most part, I didn’t find it a hugely impactful addition to her arsenal, outside of clearly signposted “shoot the glowing thingy” moments.
