‘The Daily Show’ correspondent’s set packed plenty of punches and punchlines Saturday during the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. He also came for media outlets.
1. « I would say it was an honor to be here, but that would be an alternative fact. It is not. No one wanted to do this, so of course it lands in the hands of an immigrant. It’s how it always goes down. No one wanted this gig — no one. Don Rickles died just so you wouldn’t ask him to do this gig, alright. R. I. P. to Don Rickles, the only Donald with skin thick enough to take a joke like that. R. I. P. to the legend. »
2. « We gotta address the elephant that’s not in the room. The leader of our country is not here, and that’s because he lives in Moscow. It’s a very long flight. It’d be hard for Vlad to make it… As for the other guy, I think he’s in Pennsylvania ’cause he can’t take a joke. »
3. « You know Donald Trump doesn’t drink, right? Does not touch alcohol which is oddly respectable, but think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet: completely sober… He tweets at 3 a.m. sober. Who is tweeting at 3 a.m. sober? Donald Trump because it’s 10 a.m. in Russia. Those are business hours. »
4. « It’s almost 11 p.m. right now. In four hours, Donald Trump will be tweeting about how bad Nicki Minaj bombed at this dinner and he’ll be doing it completely sober. »
5. « Tonight is about defending the first amendment and the free press and I am truly honored to be here even though all of Hollywood pulled out now that King Joffrey is president and it feels like the ‘Red Wedding’ in here. »
Trump wasn’t the only one to get served by Minhaj. He also knocked POTUS’ offspring.
Minhaj also hit Trump’s staffers.
A link has been posted to your Facebook feed.
The media also took a licking.
At the close of his remarks, Minhaj swapped his humorous tone for a serious one, explaining he was conflicted after being asked not to skewer the president and his administration.
« Do I come up here and just try to fit in and not ruffle any feathers? » said Minhaj. « Or, do I say how I really feel because this event is about celebrating the first amendment and free speech? Free speech is the foundation of an open and liberal democracy… Only in America can a first generation Indian-American Muslim kid get on this stage and make fun of the President. The orange man behind the Muslim ban. And it’s a sign to the rest of the world, it’s this amazing tradition that shows the entire world that even the president is not beyond the reach of the first amendment.
« But the president didn’t show up, » he continued. « Because Donald Trump doesn’t care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head refuses to acknowledge the amendment that allows him to do it. Think about it. »
The crowd gave Minhaj a standing ovation.
