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Fidget Spinner Neon Glow app is why we don't deserve opposable thumbs

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Someone has already managed to make a fidget spinner app and it’s tearing up the Google Play charts.
Fidget spinners are taking playgrounds all over the world by storm right now. Kids hanging out on street corners aren’t trading Pokemon cards or Pogs anymore… they’re instead trying desperately not to fidget.
Now someone wants to take all of the fun out of the future landfill by putting spinners on a screen and making them into a free app to download from the Google Play Store.
Fidget Spinner Neon Glow has peaked at position 29 on the Google Play Store this week – a sure sign that the fidget spinner craze is already starting to be so popular it’s uncool.
When we last checked, it was between half a million and one million downloads and it only launched a week or so ago. People are clearly liking it though as it currently has 2,000 five star reviews on the Play Store… compared to just over a thousand one star reviews.
But that may just be accidental presses from digit-fidget-finger-fatigue.
The description for the app says, « You dream of buying a real spinner from a bearing, but there’s no money… Why spend, when you can completely set yourself a hand spiner [sic] on your phone and twist as much as you want. »
Exactly. I’m always visiting my local bearing, looking for ‘ spiners ‘. Why buy a fidget ‘ spiner ‘ when instead you can choose from one of these ten virtual ‘ spiners ‘, flick it and watch it rotate on your screen.
So that’s all you can do with this app, then. You can’t perform any tricks or use it to actually distract yourself – unless you’re a human moth, suicidally hypnotized by glowing objects.

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