In “Being a Dad Is Weird, ” the comedic actor and screenwriter juxtaposes his childhood in Illinois with modern-day fatherhood in Los Angeles.
Ben Falcone is an all-star on the That Guy team — familiar from too many sitcom roles and movie appearances to list here, even if you might not immediately attach the name to the face. He’s also a writer and director, perhaps best known for working on “The Boss” and “Tammy, ” two films starring his wife and writing partner, Melissa McCarthy. His new book, “ Being a Dad Is Weird, ” is a series of comic essays about raising his daughters — Vivian, 10, and Georgette, 7 — in Los Angeles, and about his own childhood in Carbondale, Ill. The book’s real star is Falcone’s father, Steve, a colorful character with “a big heart and strong emotions.” Below, Falcone, 43, talks about roasting his father at parties, how music inspires him and more.
When did you first get the idea to write this book?
I’ ve been telling stories about my dad for a long time, and I used to sort of roast him at parties. It was one of the times I figured I could be a performer, when I would tell this story of an awful vacation he took me on when I was 15. Or a disastrous attempt at getting a Christmas tree one year. He was sort of the butt of the joke, but I think he liked it. It would always get laughs from my friends and family. Finally, I was in my late 30s, and I go home for the holidays and I think, “I’ m an adult, let’s not keep telling these stories.” And I don’ t. And at the end of the night Dad said, “Hey, buddy, why didn’ t you tell any stories?”
I wanted to give the book to my dad as a Christmas gift two years ago, so I wrote it over the holidays when I had a good amount of time. I had started to forget some of the stories. Writing it was one part love letter to my pop, my mom and my brother; and one part worrying about forgetting all these stories.
What’s the most surprising thing you learned while writing it?
I guess I’ m weirder than I thought, particularly as I think about me as a dad. My dad is weird in this robust, over-the-top way. He dressed as the Green Giant for Halloween and went downtown with an ax. The police had to tell him, “You can’ t be walking around with an ax.’ ”
When I was a kid, I was mostly pretty sane. I’ ve gotten more hypochondriacal.
And I like to think of myself as a nice enough fellow, but as I look through the stories, I’ ve gotten weirder. Like instructing my children to moon my wife. She made a big deal out of it in the book’s foreword. What she doesn’ t say is that when the kids were smaller, I would tell them: “It’s pretty great. You’ ve gotta moon your mom.” And then she’s stuck saying, “It’s O. K. when your father does it, but it’s not O. K. for you to do it.”
In what way is the book you wrote different from the book you set out to write?
The book I set out to write was just a collection of stories about my pop. One difference was that I started to wind in more stories juxtaposing what it’s like being a parent now.
And as I wrote it, I realized that I really had a good childhood. I’ m not sure if that’s a boring thing to say or not. Normally, people want to read and say, “Oh, so many torments you’ ve overcome.” It was interesting to look back and take the whole of what I was writing and see that it’s a pretty warm recollection. For it to go from “Hey, you know another crazy thing he did?” to being a warm look back at my family was a surprising thing to me.
Who is a creative person (not a writer) who has influenced you and your work?
Obviously, my wife, Melissa. She’s relentlessly creative in all areas.
I probably get most of my inspiration through music. I listen to the Avett Brothers all the time. I find their music interesting and introspective. My favorite thing to do in the morning is drive the girls to school, and we listen to David Bowie in the car and we hang out. On the way back, I have to take all these side streets, and it’s nice because it gives me 25 minutes to listen to songs. I’ ve learned about Bowie’s process because Melissa is fascinated by him. He created a computer program and he would put words into it. The machine would pick out words, and he would then create a story based around whatever they might be.
Persuade someone to read “Being a Dad Is Weird” in less than 50 words.
It’s funny and it’s certainly personal, and if you’ re a parent I think it’s interesting to see another father and son being pretty honest about his life. If you’ re not a parent, you get a pretty specific look, complete with pictures, at what it was like to be a kid in the’ 70s and’ 80s in Southern Illinois.
This interview has been condensed and edited.
