Female refugees from the north are being paired with husbands in the south. But some fear that the patriarchy is the real winner…
Dating had never been easy for Kim Jeong-soon. In her native North Korea, couples holding hands were chastised for “disturbing public order”, and when she arrived in South Korea potential suitors were often repelled by the mere fact of the country of her birth.
It was with a certain reservation, then, that she went on a blind date with a South Korean man three years ago; Kim Jong-il – whose name in the south is pronounced slightly differently to the late North Korean dictator. They dined on fried chicken and beer and launched right into conversations about marriage, divorce and what a future together might look like. “South Korean men are more attentive and considerate compared with North Korean men, and they’re also more friendly,” Kim said. “But I was really surprised when I first saw the way South Korean men dressed… in some ways they seemed to care about fashion more than women.”
Six months after that first date they were married. Not only was it a cause for celebration for them, it was another success story for the woman who arranged their meeting. Han Yoo-jin has helped about 300 couples marry since she started her matchmaking company, Love Storya, four years ago. Amid a skewed gender ratio, cultural differences and a desire among many North Korean refugees for a sense of security in their adopted home, an industry has sprung up catering for lonely South Korean men and North Korean women interested in marriage.
Han’s own relationship makes her the literal poster child for her business. She met her South Korean husband at a party for prospective clients, and photos of the two on their wedding day fill her company’s website. Her service is part matchmaker, part therapist because frequently mediates conflicts between couples, sometimes even after their wedding.
