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Fresh off of “Bad Cinderella” comes the new Broadway musical “Once Upon a One More Time” — an even worse Cinderella.
The dreadful show, which opened Thursday night at the Marquis Theatre, takes the pop songs of Britney Spears and plops them willy-nilly in a feminist Cinders in which the main character realizes there’s more to life than falling in love with a prince.
Good for you, Cindy, but wouldn’t it be nice if you were both a freethinking, independent woman and your musical’s story made a lick of sense?
It’s bibbidi-bobbidi-brainless. Instead of crafting compelling characters or a gripping plot, book writer Jon Hartmere has combined dance floor tunes from the aughts and half-baked, teacher’s-pet ideas into shapeless mush.
“Once Upon” is rarely fun, but always cloying and impossible to follow.
Cinderella (played as a one-note deer in the headlights by Briga Heelan) starts to realize that “happily ever after” is a whole lotta hooey while hanging with her pals Snow White (Aisha Jackson), Sleeping Beauty (Ashley Chiu), Rapunzel (Gabrielle Beckford), Princess Pea (Morgan Whitley) and the Little Mermaid (Lauren Zakrin).
The damsels sing “Baby One More Time” at the start of the show as they’re trying to woo princes. But Cinderella has a different idea for her future than settling down.
