Sky News looks back at the online dating trends of this year – and speaks to psychologists about whether any of them hold the key to finding true love.
In 2023, the search for true love has been playing out once more on social media.
Singles and couples have taken inspiration from their favourite artists, Netflix documentaries and smartphone apps to help determine if the person they are dating or in a relationship with is really the one for them – and posting about it online.
While some of this year’s online dating trends are reincarnations of age-old theories on romance, fate and chivalry, others we’ve never seen before – and are just plain bizarre.
Here we take a look at some of them – and ask experts if any could actually prove helpful in the hunt for a soulmate.
Dating wrapped 2023
As December rolled around, people relished in sharing their ‘Spotify wrapped 2023’, whereby the streaming app reveals which artists, songs, genres and podcasts users listened to the most over the past 12 months.
But this year, more and more singles have taken to social media to share their « dating unwrapped ».
Most often in the form of a PowerPoint presentation, the trend sees people break down their dating experiences over the course of the year in various metrics.
These include how they met the other person, how long the relationship lasted, who ended it and how, and where the dates took place.
On TikTok, the hashtag has 116.2 million posts.
The most watched, ‘Tara’s dating wrapped’, with 11.7 million views, says she was so committed to « the cause » of producing her dating wrapped that she forced herself to go on at least one date every month.
She shares that she managed to get stood up by the same man twice and that she only liked three out of the 14 people she dated, which included some « returning characters » she was involved with in previous years.
Is it helpful? Yes
Professor Mark Coulson is professor in psychology at the University of West London, with research interests in relationships, emotional communication and online behaviour.
He says that the end of the calendar year often offers people an opportunity for reflection, which in general psychological terms is « very healthy ».
« One of the nice things about some of our digital platforms is they give you a structure for digital journalling.
« We’re not designed to recall facts and our memories are not particularly good, so being reminded of these things can be quite nice.
« Recording your experiences – either positive or traumatic – has a proven beneficial effect. »
But he adds that while the reflection element is positive – there is some evidence that sharing negative experiences with others could be detrimental, and may best be kept private.
On the positive side, however, those who consume dating wrapped videos could be helped by the sense of shared negative experiences.
« When people can see that the terrible relationship or terrible date they had, which they thought was the end of the world, other people have been through exactly the same process, we get a sense of normalisation. »
Consultant clinical psychologist Dr Venetia Leonidaki agrees, adding the trend’s « business-like nature » allows people to « take emotional distance from the anxieties, heartbreaks and uncertainties of their love life » and feel « more in control ».
Orange peel theory (and other ‘tests’)
The orange peel theory is the latest incarnation of the TikTok ‘boyfriend test’.
In November, people started asking their significant other or the person they were dating to peel an orange to see what their response would be.
The seemingly innocuous request is meant to represent your partner’s capacity to show their affection for you through « acts of service », as per the theory of five love languages put forward by American author and minister Gary Chapman in his 1992 book of the same name.
While some choose to film their partner’s response, others simply post about the acts of service their partners do for them.
One writes: « The orange peel theory reminds me of all the times my boyfriend walks to the car in the rain to pull it up so I don’t get soaked. »
Another woman writes: « He always carries the groceries, washed our pans because he knows I hate doing it. Gets me hot towels when I have cramps. Brings me chocolate when I’m PMS-ing because he knows it will make me smile. Someone taking care of you just because they love you is the safest feeling in the world.
