Cadaver a Norwegian Netflix horror film set in a (sigh) post-apocalyptic hellscape where survival isn’t just a thing, it’s the only thing — and …
Cadaver a Norwegian Netflix horror film set in a (sigh) post-apocalyptic hellscape where survival isn’t just a thing, it’s the only thing — and then that thing gets more difficult because the principal characters are imbeciles who don’t know a TGTBT (Too Good To Be True) situation when they see it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad movie, right? The Gist: Slow zoom out on an eyeball, in a painting, of a goat head, not attached to the rest of the goat, and resting on a plate. Cut to the outside world: It’s effed. Leonora (Gitte Witt), Jacob (Thomas Gullestad) and their daughter Alice (Tuva Olivia Remman) make their way through the ruins of wherever they are, scrounging for food. Newspapers (remember those?) bellow headlines about nuclear war disaster, because the last thing many people did before they died was write and print articles about how they were probably going to die. The family barricades itself in a home where they’ll probably starve to death, but at least they’re safe from whoever pounds menacingly at the door, probably with Jehovah’s Witness literature. The next day, as they eat some dust in a delectable ash sauce, a voice from outside shouts to gather people: Come see a show and get some food. Sounds like dinner theater of the damned to me, but hey, I have a fridge heavy with Lunchables. The scenario seems fishy, but hey, this is a movie from Norway, where herring is a major export rimshot exclamation point! Leo, Jacob and Alice trek to a nearby majestic hotel where fancy waitstaff serves them and many other attendees a sumptuous meal that might as well be one shoe on a platter, since we’re waiting for the other one to drop.
