He can’t actually “federalize” the city over the assault of a DOGE employee. But he can abuse his emergency powers.
In news that can best be described as both serious and farcical, the long tradition of home rule for the District of Columbia is suddenly under attack from President Donald Trump because one of his more infamous supporters got beaten up there.
Earlier this year, Edward “Big Balls” Coristine became a global symbol of the arrogance and ignorance suffusing Elon Musk’s DOGE initiative. The teenage programmer with a really stupid nickname gained extraordinary access to federal-agency data and worksites during his brief career at the commanding heights of the public sector. Unfortunately, Coristine became a crime victim earlier this week during what seems to have been an attempted carjacking in an upscale area of D.C.
This inspired a signature temper tantrum from Trump on Truth Social, complete with a photo of a bloodied Coristine at the crime scene awaiting treatment. After ranting for a while about the allegedly lenient treatment of minors who commit violent crimes, Trump issued a threat:
If D.C. doesn’t get its act together, and quickly, we will have no choice but to take Federal control of the City, and run this City how it should be run, and put criminals on notice that they’re not going to get away with it anymore. Perhaps it should have been done a long time ago, then this incredible young man, and so many others, would not have had to go through the horrors of Violent Crime.
