It’s time to start believing men who say they drug or sexually assault women
Bill Cosby, let me say this: I believe you. I believe you when you say in a that “yes” you give women Quaaludes. I believe you when you say you knew it was illegal to get the prescriptions. (I also believe that the gynecologist who gave them to you knew you really shouldn’ t be his patient in the first place.) I believe you when you describe your version of what consent means, one that isn’ t so much based on “yes.” “I don’ t hear her say anything, ” you say during the deposition, describing your encounter with the plaintiff. “I don’ t feel her say anything. And so I continue and I go into that area between permission and rejection. I am not stopped.” I believe you when you say that you’ ve done this many times, giving young, slim women strong sedatives before these encounters. I believe you when you say you first started to think the idea of drugging and sexually assaulting women was funny when you were 13 years old. You’ d heard about a mythical drug “Spanish Fly” that could make women do things they didn’ t want to do. I believe you when you said decades later you still thought it was funny, so funny you that you included it in your comedy routine. “Go to a party and see five girls standing alone, boy if I had a whole jug of Spanish Fly I’ d light that corner up over there. Hahahah, ” in 1969 about your younger days. You made the same joke for years and years after. A jury couldn’ t decide this week if you were guilty of three charges of aggravated indecent assault against Andrea Constand, who you settled a civil case with in 2006. That case involved an incident at your house where she said you tricked her into taking pills that left her dipping in and out of consciousness, while you assaulted her. This incident is the reason you sat for a deposition in 2005. I believe you made a good decision when you decided it was best to settle that civil case with Constand. It wasn’ t frivolous. There are many people who don’ t take you at your word, like I do. And to those people, I say, you don’ t have to just take Cosby’s word for it. Here are who told New York Magazine about their own experiences with him. They use different words, but they paint a similar picture of strong sedatives and a man who doesn’ t look for an affirmative yes. You don’ t have to believe Cosby, you can chose to believe these women instead. And, look, Cosby, it’s not just you. There’s an epidemic in this country of not believing men. Take Brock Allen Turner, a swimmer at Stanford who was sentenced to just six months in jail after two bystanders caught him violently attacking an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. I believe Turner when he testified in court that he laughed as the two men restrained him waiting for the police to arrive. Turner said he laughed because he found the situation “ridiculous.” Or look at our president. When a tape surfaced last year of him joking at length about how he likes to treat women, I believed him. Here’s the full. Here’s a key passage: “You know, I’ m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them, ” Trump says on tape. “It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’ t even wait. And when you’ re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” “Grab’ em by the pussy. You can do anything.” A lot of people rushed to say that Trump was lying — it was all a bunch of “locker room talk.” Trump himself even tried to push that line, that we shouldn’ t believe him. But I still do. It’s understandable to see why some people would not think Trump was being honest, given his track record with the truth. But luckily for Trump, just like Cosby, there are many women who are backing up his first version. They say he’s done these very things to them. They’ ve come forward and said so. He’s got credible people to support his original version. Here’s a of the details. This trend is deeply troubling. Even in the face of clear statements and corroborating evidence, we so often just don’ t believe men when they say sexual assault is funny or when they say they do it. It’s time for us to start believing men.
