« The Suite Life of Zack and Cody » star explains how life changed once she realized she had feelings for her dance instructor.
A former star of the Disney Channel shared her emotional journey toward self-acceptance after she fell in love with a woman.
Alyson Stoner — who had a recurring role on « The Suite Life of Zack and Cody » — penned an essay explaining how much her life changed once she realized she had feelings for her instructor at a dance workshop.
« After I dizzied myself from doing knee spins, she walked toward me to correct my form, » Stoner recalls in the essay published by Teen Vogue . « My heart raced wildly and my body grew hot. Was I nervous to fail in front of an expert? Was I breathing heavily from being out of shape? Her smile was the most electrifying thing I’d ever seen. »
Stoner, 24, says she didn’t initially understand what she was feeling, but texted her mother and best friend that day to say that she’d met a woman who she expected was « going to be in my life for a very long time. »
Alyson Stoner, little girl from Missy video, in tribute
She says her relationship with the dance instructor progressed over time, even as she remained confused about her feelings.
« She and I continued to hang out and began sending good morning texts, » Stoner wrote. « Then we made dinner and watched Orange Is the New Black. Then we vented and supported each other. Then cuddled. Then kissed and kissed some more. OK, we were in a relationship. I fell in love with a woman. »
The experience wasn’t easy for Stoner, who says she went to therapy in hopes of truly understanding what she was feeling.
She said her « worldview » at the time conflicted with same-sex relationships, and she felt pressure to bottle up her feelings.
« Some people in the industry warned me that I’d ruin my career, miss out on possible jobs, and potentially put my life in danger if I ever came out, » Stoner said. « My dream and all I’d worked tirelessly for since the age of 6 was suddenly at risk by my being… true to myself. »
Stoner never gave her sexual orientation a label in the essay, noting that she’s « attracted to men, women, and people who identify in other ways. »
« It is the soul that captivates me. It is the love we can build and the goodness we can contribute to the world by supporting each other’s best journeys. »
Stoner ended her essay by encouraging readers to embrace their sexualities no matter what. She adds that she wouldn’t change anything about her journey toward understanding her feelings.
In addition to her Disney career, Stoner is known for her performances as a child dancer in Missy Elliott’s music videos and as a cast member in the comedy flick « Cheaper By The Dozen. »
