The US men’s soccer team didn’t make the cut for this World Cup, but the USA’s most famous pundit is winning on Twitter. The parody…
The US men’s soccer team didn’t make the cut for this World Cup, but the USA’s most famous pundit is winning on Twitter.
The parody account @USASoccerGuy — which has been making soccer funny on Twitter since 2013 — has been covering all the action in Russia with its trademark misspellings, erroneous facts and salty over-the-top American flavor.
The self-described “American slice of the soccer pie” translates the international language of football into Americanese — including phonetic spellings for all those tricky foreign names.
Here are some of its noteworthy tweets from the World Cup thus far.
On England’s star striker, and potential Golden Boot winner, Harry Kane:
“The HurriKane seals his hat-tip with a no bounce fanny kick as England Soccer Club edge past Panamanama 6 to 1. The Three Lines are now into the Sweet 16s but have to go play Belgium Soccer Club to go figure out whose the winningest international franchise in their little league.”
Denmark’s goalie Kasper Schmeichel has skills:
“Kasper the friendly goaltender does a bunch of real neat hand denials with his hands and feet to help Denmark Soccer Club take the W in their World Soccer Cup game.”
How soccer players celebrate when they’re inching closer to the knockout rounds:
“Argentina Soccer Club athletes hug it out and sing a bunch of songs about how great it is to be such great buddies as they finally remember how to do good soccer and book themselves a place in the World Soccer Cup’s Sweet 16s.”
In case you were wondering how Cristiano is pronounced:
“Christie Y’all know Ronaldo’s late felony kick knots it up at threes for the Portugaleze in their game with Spain Soccer Club. The Real Salt Lake Madrid athlete also found the ball bag with a PK, and another time thanks to dumbass goaltendering from Richard De Gere.”
Can’t do sports commentary without the word “jerkoff”:
“Russian soccer player You’re a Jerkoff wins the head kick as Russia Socer Club do soccer in the first soccer game of the World Soccer Cup of Soccer. The Russians hit the big red button of awesomeness against Saudi Arabia Soccer Club, pulverizing their asses 5 to 0 at soccer.”
