Some local sports bars offer socially-distanced events
So the other day I’m on Scruff and this guy messages me from Belgium. My phone — ever the protector of my privacy —immediately suggests I watch some acrobatics finals in Antwerp on YouTube. I don’t know if you’ve seen these: Three muscled young men hoist a skinny fourth guy onto this totem pole of a formation, where the slender one proceeds to perform a single-arm handstand, doing the splits, while using the head of his teammate below for balance. I swear I thought the guy underneath would have his neck snap right off. I was enraptured. I started wondering: How are these routines judged? How long do they take to rehearse? And who makes those fabulous sparkly leotards all the guys wear? Maybe I can make sparkle onesies for them! Sorry, I’m supposed to be writing about the Super Bowl, which airs Sunday, But you have to understand that as a gay man, this is as close as you’ll see me relate to overly padded burly guys chasing a ball up and down a painted field. I don’t get it. I thought maybe I was an archetypal joke because so much of me is stereotypically gay. If you see me at HiTops (2247 Market St.) during basketball season, I’ll typically shout “yasssss qweeeen” when something remotely interesting happens during a game. But I asked a solid 20 people what they were up to and the vast majority said, “Oh, that’s happening this year? When is it?” Yes it’s still happening. The Kansas City Chiefs are playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I have no idea who either of those teams are, sorry, but I wanted sports-ball fans reading this—and perhaps rightfully irritated at me—to know that I at least opened a search engine before writing this column. Kickoff happens at 3:30 p.m. Sunday, and you can stream it online on a CBS or NFL app. Or you can go to a local bar, but make no mistake, I’m not recommending that. I would personally you didn’t go to a house party or a parklet and endanger the lives around you. The other day someone told me I virtue signal in these columns about the pandemic, and I swear I don’t mean to. Namaste, you do you— if going home for the holidays made you happy, I’m glad! It certainly sounds better than spending them alone, like I did.
