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'House of the Dragon' episode 6: From here to paternity

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This recap of House of the Dragon’s sixth episode contains spoilers for … well, for House of the Dragon’s sixth episode. That’s pretty much what a recap is. Proceed accordingly.
If you’re just joining us, here are recaps of episodes one, two, three, four and five.
That wind you felt whooshing past your face as this episode opened is 10 years of story time, in which developments big (a whole new generation of privileged aristocratic jerks have arrived!) and small (Larys is keepin’ on creepin’ on) have come to pass. Daemon is still smirking his way through life, though he seems to have softened a bit, now that he’s a family man, while Rhaenyra and especially Alicent have hardened — or at least, grown more resolved. Distilled, in a way.
Would it have been nice to see that process happen? To spend more time with Rhaenyra and Alicent as they found their new level, had their first kids? Maybe. There’s certainly a sense that both of them have shifted from focusing on themselves and their respective stations to worrying about their kids. It makes sense, given how precarious the situations they’ve put themselves in remain; worry is the price of power. But I can’t help feeling we’ve been denied the chance to see them grow into adults in their own right, instead of solely in relation to the men in their lives.It’s astounding; time is fleeting
Open on: Princess Rhaenyra’s bedchamber. She’s having her third kid. All boys. First there was Jacaerys (he goes by Jayce). Then there was Lucerys (he goes by Luke). Now comes li’l Joffrey (he goes by Braden). (Kidding! He’s Joff. It’s just funny how George R.R. Martin’s high-fantasy monikers always seem to get turned into names you’d find on a varsity-lacrosse team roster. Welcome, Ser Cody! To arms, Ser Eli! Lord Zeke, hail!)
All three of Rhaenyra’s kids have brown hair, which is notable because both Rhaenyra and her husband Laenor sport the platinum wigs, er, hair that testifies to their Old Valyrian bloodlines.
Also notable: Family friend Harwin Strong, captain of the City Watch, is a burly brown bear of a man who hangs around Rhaenyra and her kids a tremendous lot, trading long, smoldering (foreshadowing!) looks with her.
Laenor doesn’t seem to mind, as he’s preoccupied with his new horseplay-twink Ser Qarl Correy, and with being a hilariously lousy husband when Queen Alicent requests (read: demands) to see Rhaenyra’s newest kid moments after he’s born. «Was it … terribly painful?» Laenor asks of the birth, which in his mind likely counts as empathy. (Actor John MacMillan is having a ball as the vain, feckless Laenor, who isn’t the kind of character who tends to hang around long in brutal Westeros; enjoy this performance while you can, because I sure am.)
It’s a long, painful walk up a crowded staircase to deliver the kid to the king and queen — in a receiving room decorated with tapestries that, I’m happy to report, do not feature any genitalia at all.
Adult Alicent is one shaaaaady queen, greeting Rhaenyra with feigned surprise to see her, then calling everyone’s attention to Laenor’s decision to name the kid Joffrey (after his pummeled-into-puree first love, the Knight of Kisses) and finally remarking to Laenor that if he keeps trying, he’ll eventually get a kid who looks like him. I know drag queens who couldn’t work in three such sick burns in so short a time.
A couple other things to note in this scene: Ser Criston Cole isn’t rotting in jail for the very public murder of Joffrey last episode; in fact, he’s been promoted to the queen’s personal guard. This bugs me more than it does any of the characters — including Laenor, mystifyingly enough — so I guess I have to let it go.
Also: the king’s health is failing. All those Iron Throne cuts have led to the amputation of his left forearm, he’s taken on a shuffling gait and a gray pallor Also his hairline has retreated; it’s currently holding at «Riff-Raff from Rocky Horror» status.The kids are all wrong
Cut to: The Dragonpit, where Jayce and Luke, along with Aegon and Aemond Targaryen, the platinum-tressed sons of Alicent and the king, are LARPing How to Train Your Dragon.
Specifically, young Jayce is learning to control his dragon. Welcome to the stage: Vermax! The show’s fifth dragon! (Aegon’s dragon Sunfyre gets a passing mention, but you know the rules: We don’t count our dragons until we actually see them in the scaly flesh.)
There’s meant to be some tension, here, as Jayce should be carrying the dragonriding gene on both his X (Targaryen) and Y (Velaryon) chromosomes; but his father’s a Strong. Turns out, however, that mom’s blood is good enough, and Jaecerys manages to get Vermax to make himself roast mutton for dinner.
Jayce, Luke and Aegon play a prank on glum Aemond, who does not yet have a dragon of his own. They…dress up a pig. No, it’s not a particularly good prank, but it succeeds in sending young Aemond down into the bowels of the Dragonpit, where he’s confronted by a dragon (sorry; couldn’t tell which one — let me know if you could) who nearly immolates him.
Alicent listens as her daughter Helaena nerds out over some bugs; the queen is clearly bored silly. She has the look on her face my mom would get whenever I’d excitedly start explaining the difference between Sindar and Noldor elves to her. But as they’re setting up Helaena as dreamy and prophetical, we should perhaps take note of what she whispers to herself as Alicent berates Aemond for going down into the Dragonpit, and assures him he’ll get a dragon one day.

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