The Bears can sleep easier now that the Packers have traded Rodgers to the Jets.
Light those fireworks, Chicago. Ignite the victory cigars.
Aaron Rodgers is gone!
Well, he’s not off the planet, which would be nice, but the former Packers quarterback is far enough away — New York — that he can’t hurt us anymore. At least not for years.
As we all know, Rodgers was to the Bears what a parasitic wasp is to a caterpillar. That’s the mommy that lays its eggs on a caterpillar and watches as its babies slowly eat their way out. A 25-5 career record against the Bears says it all.
The quarterback-desperate Jets finally got Rodgers, 39, in a trade for several draft picks. And Rodgers gets to go where he likely was destined to go since his days of ayahuasca-taking and darkness retreats led him to some kind of enlightenment the rest of us only can guess at.
The Bears played — and lost to — the Jets last season. But because the NFL rotates divisional opponents each season, the Bears might not face him until 2026. However, an AFC East team will be the Bears’ 17th opponent in 2024, so they could see him sooner than later.
But by ’26, one would hope the ever-searching Rodgers will have left football and found a starring role on Broadway or will have formed his own punk band that plays nightly at CBGB, which he will have bought and reopened.
Bright lights, big city. Stay there, Aaron. Illuminate Times Square.
Indeed, this sportswriter finds it a pity that former Bengals defensive lineman Mike Hammerstein retired in 1990 and isn’t available in a trade.
