Fast X continues the grand Fast and Furious tradition of gathering the ever-expanding Fast family for a cookout. But which Fast and Furious cookout is best?
The celebratory family cookout is one of the more endearing tropes in the Fast and Furious franchise, a beat closely related to the series’ long-standing “family” meme — it’s usually where Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) mumbles something about the importance of family to his friends, right before they all drive off to suplex a tank.
Repetition over the course of 10 movies has turned these scenes into wry comedy, and yet right up through 2023’s Fast X, the movies play them with utter sincerity. For a while, they were sincere — and maybe the best proof that this scattered crew does actually have some family feeling. In fact, I believe a Fast and Furious movie lives and dies by its cookouts. The best cookouts aren’t necessarily in the best movies, but the quality of a given Fast family cookout goes a long way toward grounding the ridiculous over-the-top action that’s meant as the main draw.
Also I just really love grilling with some homies, and if a Fast movie does not do this, I get very upset. I’ve been upset a few times, folks. 10. The Fate of the Furious
Naturally, this is a subjective list, and Fate of the Furious is a rock-bottom cookout because it exemplifies all my particular Fast family gripes. First of all, it’s at the end of arguably the weakest film in the series, though it fights F9 for that dishonor. It also shirks the blue-collar theater of the other Fast and Furious cookouts, taking place on a Manhattan rooftop in swank surroundings. And while I am generally on board with these films’ extremely loose definition of “family,” I don’t fully buy former villain Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) breaking bread with the gang, as fun as he is to have around. 9. F9: The Fast Saga
This cookout gets points for reuniting Han and Sean from Tokyo Drift, along with a few other supporting players from previous films, like Don Omar’s Santos from Fast & Furious. The spread is dire, though. Try as F9 might to distract me with Coronas, I am puzzled by what looks like a single plate of meat and a lot of greens, with barely any carbs in sight. This is not a judgment, but a call for balance. (That bottle of what looks like a French’s-brand condiment? I will be judgmental about that.)
My real umbrage with this scene, however, is the sad state of this grill.
Those patties look suspiciously store-bought and pre-made, and I’m confident they’re going to come out dry as hell.
