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If you’re a boxing fan, the “what if” game is a permanent part of your playbook. You play the game whenever you’re at a bar, arguing with strangers about the fight scene. It goes like this:
What if Joe Louis fought Mike Tyson?
What if George Foreman fought Sonny Liston?
What if Joe Frazier fought Evander Holyfield?
What if Muhammad Ali fought Rocky Marciano?
Actually, the last fight really happened. Sort of: In 1969, filmmakers relied on an NCR 315 computer (and the participation of Ali and Marciano) to predict what would happen if those two legends ever met in the ring. And Marciano did his best to turn back the clock: He dropped 50 pounds and wore a toupee since he was 45 years old. Unfortunately, one day before his 46th birthday, his Cessna 172 crashed, killing him and two other people.
So Marciano never got to see the ending: For American audiences, Marciano won by KO in round 13, but European audiences saw a version where Ali won by TKO, slicing up Marciano’s face. (I guess we can call that a draw?)
But in all of boxing history, the greatest “what if” fight is this: What would’ve happened if a prime Mike Tyson fought a gorilla?!
In the late 1980s, Mike Tyson visited a New York City zoo and was told of a foul-tempered gorilla that was bullying the other gorilla. In Tyson’s words: “I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback’s snotbox! He declined.”
Thus depriving the public of the ultimate dream fight: Man versus monkey.
Most people think the gorilla would’ve won. After all, gorillas are over 10 times stronger than humans. A prime Mike Tyson weighed in the 220s; a silverback can weigh 500 pounds.
Which is why most people bet on the gorilla. But I think they’re wrong: Mike Tyson would’ve whooped that monkey!
Here in Tampa Bay, we live near a primate sanctuary.
