Jack Black’s version of Bowser in The Super Mario Bros. Movie is the best one, and I want to marry him. Move aside, Princess Peach; you don’t deserve him.
I went into The Super Mario Bros. Movie without much opinion on Bowser as a character, and I came out a changed woman.
I knew he was the big bad guy and that he wanted to kidnap Princess Peach, but that was about it. Most of my Mario familiarity comes from Mario Party and Mario Kart games, which are mostly about having fun with friends in a local multiplayer setting, not about diving into the lore of the Mushroom Kingdom. Going into the movie, I expected Bowser to be that same big bad guy — and I was right, to an extent.
But The Super Mario Bros. Movie version of Bowser isn’t just the King of the Koopas who wants to selfishly kidnap a princess — he actually has a big ol’ crush on her, and thinks she’s just the coolest, prettiest girl in the world. Voicing Bowser, Jack Black masterfully switches back and forth between conquering emperor and an anxious dude who just wants his crush to notice him. Not only does he nervously practice his marriage proposal with his Magikoopa advisor Kamek, he also writes a whole song for her at the piano, crooning “Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches,” in the same improvisational way that I use when I make up songs on the spot about my cat. Beneath that formidable and powerful exterior, there’s an awkward, shy personality that blushes when his crush does something cute.
