Putting each Bethesda Game Studios intro in its place.
As a developer, Bethesda Game Studios has become synonymous with a certain kind of RPG. We know what to expect: open worlds, faction quests, extremely familiar voice actors, jank. And, since Oblivion, we expect a prologue that includes a bit where you step out of a dark area into a well-lit area and see a world of opportunities and diversions placed in front of you like a cheese platter—only there’s a ruin you might want to explore and a settlement full of sidequests instead of some brie and a sharp cheddar.
Attempts to repeat this in subsequent Bethesda RPGs haven’t always worked as well, but it’s definitely become a thing. Which is why it’s time to consider all those things together and rank them from worst to best, like parents do when they think their kids aren’t paying attention.
Because Bethesda Game Studios was founded in 2001 when Bethesda Softworks rebranded itself as a publisher, this list only covers games from that point onward. That means nothing earlier than Morrowind, which is a good thing for Daggerfall, because that starter dungeon with monsters who could only be harmed by enchanted weapons and grizzly bears that appeared when you dared to have a rest can go and do one.
Non-RPGs by Bethesda Game Studios aren’t on the list either, so apologies if you really wanted to see how the tutorial of IHRA Professional Drag Racing 2005 measured up compared to Starfield. Now, on with the list.Fallout 4
I guess Bethesda listened to all the moaning gamer pissbabies who complained the opening of Fallout 3 was too long, because Fallout 4’s prologue is such a rush it’s playing YYZ. You go from filling out a Vault entry form to racing through a panicked street into said Vault, conveniently placed two houses down from you, so fast it feels like it must be setting up some kind of twist. Did the Vault-Tec rep who shows up to your door know what was about to happen? No, it turns out, he was just trying to get you to sign up so he could fill his quota to win a set of steak knives.
Rather than being able to choose what kind of Vault dweller you’ll be, you’re stuck as either a father who used to be a soldier, or a mother who used to be a lawyer. And your motivation for leaving the Vault will always be the wombo combo of avenging your dead partner and rescuing your kidnapped son. It’s a recipe guaranteed to leave you sprinting out of the prologue with a character whose participation in an open world full of settlement-building and faction-choosing distractions will make no sense at all.Skyrim
There’s a reason alternate starts are essential Skyrim mods. Few of us want to do the drawn-out ride to Helgen on a prison wagon a second time. And while the dragon attack that prevents your execution sure is dramatic, the way you’re quickly pushed into choosing between offers of help from A) one of the friendly Stormcloaks who was arrested alongside you, or B) one of the Imperial soldiers who was about to watch you be executed then do a little cheer about it, is infuriating.
It’s not infuriating because the choice is so obvious, but because you know Skyrim would only offer you a choice that seemed so obvious if it was going to eventually pull some both-sides nonsense about how the Stormcloaks are actually bad too, have you considered that, hmmm? Which it does by showing that some of them are racist, as if to suggest they’re no better than the Imperials who, lest we forget, have sided with Nazi elves.
