Americans are unhappier at work than they have been in years.
Americans are unhappier at work than they have been in years, according to Gallup report. Sixty percent of people reported being emotionally detached at work and 19% say they are miserable.
If you’re one of these people, you’ve probably spent a lot of time reflecting on the reasons why you don’t like your job. Maybe you complain about your micromanaging boss. Perhaps you think it’s that your tasks are super boring and tedious.
But what actually might be at play could be something deeper, says Dr. Tessa West, Professor of Psychology at New York University, where she is a leading expert on the science of social relationships.
In her new book, Job Therapy:Finding Work That Works for You, Dr. West helps you figure out the real reason you’re unhappy and shows you how to find a new position in which you’ll thrive, whether in a different role, company, or new industry altogether. She’s researched thousands of people who have recently switched jobs or undergone career changes and shares her insights in this interview.
Melody Wilding: What inspired you to write Job Therapy? What’s the story behind it?
Tess West: I really started thinking about writing Job Therapy when I was teaching a close relationships class at NYU. We focused a lot on relationship disillusionment—the breakup stage, falling out of love, on-again-off-again relationships, and navigating the dating scene.
I started seeing all these parallels between what people dealing with relationship issues go through and what people who come to me with workplace problems are facing. They sound similar. It’s like going on a first date that feels like a job interview, with the same missteps and concerns about misleading profiles or not asking tough questions.
These psychological processes kept coming up in both my roles—as a teacher of close relationships and as a workplace consultant studying interpersonal interactions. I wanted to merge these insights and experiences from both domains into Job Therapy. It’s about unpacking the emotional complexity often overlooked in the workplace—like feeling stuck or unsuccessful, similar to a challenging personal relationship.
For example, someone once asked me how to predict workplace behaviors like ‘ghosting’ on the first day. I explained that we could draw parallels from dating trends. People started ‘ghosting’ on Tinder and Grindr before we saw it in the workplace—a shift that reflects broader behavioral patterns across different contexts.
Wilding: Can you talk about the five psychological types you outline? What about these surprised you?
West: The first type I discuss is the most existential one, which is the crisis of identity. These individuals have often been in the same career for a long time, investing a lot of effort, time, and sometimes money—a significant sunk cost. They have strong social networks, know their field well, and enjoy status, but they begin to experience existential panic, questioning whether they still love the identity they’ve held onto.
It’s akin to owning a large house and having children—a deeply embedded life—but suddenly feeling that this might be all life has to offer. For these individuals, the journey often starts with questioning whether their old career still defines them so deeply that letting it go would leave a void difficult to fill.
