Dear Abby gives advice to a woman whose friend is stuck in an abusive relationship, but is not planning on divorcing.
My best friend of 40 years, “Savannah,” has been in a bad marriage for 20 of those.
Her husband has cheated on her repeatedly. He can’t keep a job, and he emotionally abuses her and her daughter.
Now that she’s finally fed up, he refuses to leave the house.
Despite how bad his behavior has been, Savannah is doing nothing to move the divorce forward.
She continues paying for his travel and includes him in family get-togethers in what she calls a “sacrifice,” made at her daughter’s request.
It has been incredibly difficult to be supportive, hear about how harmful this has been, support her when she says she’s getting out, and then hear that for one reason or another he’s still there.
When I challenge her and suggest she’s making excuses for not progressing with the divorce, she becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation.
Over the last two years, she has taken to calling me twice a day, and becomes frustrated if I don’t answer.
